you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
