Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
