he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
