were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
