my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
