Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
