the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
