nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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