just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize