Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
