I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
