Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
handjob tips. give me some.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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