That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
