Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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