what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
