Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
