yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize