Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize