THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
