She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
