Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
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