But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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