Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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