she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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