I hate all girls vehemently.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
