We named our party play list daddy issues
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
