I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.