Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
