Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
