bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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