I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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