Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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