I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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