I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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