Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
