After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
