This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
