where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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