I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
