I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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