I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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