are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
