you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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