I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
