called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
