Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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