If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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