Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We need to get me chipped asap
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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