I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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