Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
