There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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