All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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