Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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