I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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