Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm too high and old for this...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
