I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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