The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
