i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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