i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
